Wendy,

Ouch! These people do sound like a real pill. I would absolutely advocate forgiveness, as at that point you reduce them from being total [censored] into the pathetic, needy people they are.

I don't believe that forgiveness requires that they apologize and admit they've done wrong. Most people never will - why hold yourself back from the way you want to feel on the slim chance that they might be the well-behaved, contrite human beings that they should be?

This is NOT to say that you must accept their behavior, or condone it. You just don't have to harbor that bitter, angry grudge against them that makes YOU feel terrible - it certainly doesn't have an effect on them.

How you feel about the situation depends solely on how you handle it. Your son obviously wants a relationship with you, and you with him, so as a matter of fact, they're nearly irrelevant. I'm afraid that this is one of those situations where you have to be very high above them. And if there is one thing that people like that can't stand, it's failing to get a reaction out of the people they're trying to annoy/frustrate/harass, etc. Forgive them - and disarm them. They're only winning while you react as you do.

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett