I really feel like I'm losing it tonight. I was just laying in bed and the thoughts came...not only am I expected to go see my pdoc tomorrow, but Andy and his dad want me to go to the family's cabin...in a place called Rockland. Well, Rockland is where my ex made me touch that little girl. It's where he strangled me. It's where it ALL happened.

All Andy will say is "you'll be ok" or "I'm here" or some %#@&#! like that. It feels like he doesn't even care! I can't go there! When I see that road I go into a panic attack...when I'm near there I go into a panic attack. What is he gonna do when I'm so close to that hell that I cannot function and he really thinks I've really lost it????

It's too soon! It's been 6 years and it's just too soon for me!