Thanks everyone for your validation. I can relate to feeling you're going to get "caught". I was not taken seriously by former therapists and doctors, who told me my behavior was all deliberate. Now I constantly fear being told such things, and yet I tell them myself all the time.

@AmandaLouise: my therapist is a psychologist. She is qualified to administer the SCID-D. I don't know whether she is authorized to open "diagnosis-treatment combinations" as they're called in insurance jargon, but she works in close cooperation with a psychiatrist (I'm in-patient) who I know is authorized. She didn't use the SCID-D as the only tool to diagnose me. In fact I think I said in my original post that I was diagnosed in 2010 based on clinical judgment. Anyway, my diagnosis is valid now according to the protocols and according to insurance legalese.