I had similar feelings when I worked a temp job, got my first paycheck in a number of years, was feeling so proud of myself--and then the paycheck bounced! Wow, I thought, what kind of loser do I have to be to have that happen? Yes, I know rationally that it was their fault not mine, and it can happen to anybody, but when we are disappointed like that, we usually don't think rationally.

I'm sorry for your experience. Here's hoping you find a job you love. Soon.