Quote:
Originally Posted by Fixated
Yang, you did absolutely NOTHING wrong. What is happening now is not a reflection of you or a consequence of anything you did. This is all on your T and the clinic. I wouldn't let this issue go until you get a satisfactory answer/resolution, but you should do what you think is best.
I think I am confused a bit though. Does your T, your OT, and your neurologist all work at the same clinic?
I hope you can get through this as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Is there any way you can see a T not from that clinic once or twice to get some outside perspective?
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OT and T work in the same clinic. My Neurologist works at a hospital that is affiliated with the clinic. I work in healthcare as well and it helps me understand how patient records are acessible to providers but that doesn't mean they should abuse it. It's none of their business unless it is necessary or revelant. I felt like it was none of OT's business what T and I had discussed. If I didn't want to share, she should have respected that. What hurts is it wasn't that way when I started therapy. No one could access T's notes. Thanks to the new software the clinic got, it enabled them to do that. The sad and shocking thing is, I only came to know of that when OT flat out read T's notes to me. Since then, therapy has been lagging a lot until I can't hold the hurt in and than a little bit of the hurt slips out here and there. Friday was different though. I was able to be completely honest because I just couldn't tolerate the hurt anymore and I felt so bad like I'm punishing T by not sharing what troubled me with her when in fact I've been hurting myself instead.
That's why I decided to come clean.
IDK any other therapists. I didn't even look for this therapist. My sister made an appointment for me cuz there is NO way in hell I would initiate therapy. Never have and never will. This isn't my first therapist. She is my second. I had a man the first time and I didn't look for him either. My college professor took me to see him and we were not good match at all. I did give it quite some time but realized that it was not going to work so I just didn't do therapy again until 2 years later when sis didn't want me to have bad headaches anymore. T just happend to be apart of the team to help me manage chronic pain.
I am taking a break from therapy and work next week. I will not see T for two weeks which I think is good because I need some space. I miss her but yet seeing her will just stir up the pain. I know that I just can't bear the pain at this very moment. Hopefully by the time I see her again, I can bear the pain a bit better.
I will talk it through with T somehow. I hope we will make it through this rupture. Why do I feel like I need to start from strach again with her?