That's EXACTLY what I do...most sessions. After my last appointment I ended up in such a bad place, I don't even have the words to describe it. I wrote about it and I've been taking in my writing and sharing it, but I feel silly about it because by the time I've reached my next appointment, it's like I've only just managed to shove it all away somewhere and it feels like the reaction I had was such an overreaction. I think like you said it is some sort of protection, for me. Firstly it lets me get on with life, file things away even if they're not dealt with, and secondly it probably means I don't have to be a complete mess in front of someone else! I also think I manage to file it away when my appointment is getting closer just because I know, finally, I am going to have help and not be alone with it, and that alone helps.

I actually find it helpful to take the writing in to T because when she reads it, I feel some of the filed away emotions again. So, obviously it's been filed away but not really dealt with. Even when it feels like it has passed, I think it's important to go back over why it was so hard.

And during the actual time that I feel like that? I really don't know. I really, really struggle. I do write, with the intention of sharing the writing with T, which makes it a tiny bit less lonely. To know that in a week someone will know.

Sorry that it's what you're going through at the moment! I've only just got myself out of that place and I absolutely get how how it is.