Fayerody,

No problem....no offense taken at all. You are right about this incident just happening without being connected to anything in my past. The situation was only limilar in that I was followed in my car by the RN when I was driving to the police department to file the report against her.

I would love to get rid of the nightmares & flashbacks that continually haunt me about the RN situation. I am realizing that it wasn't the ID theft itself that bothers me, but the fear I had about the things she did to me to try & keep me from saying anything. It is also about the anger I can't seem to let go of toward my Mother....(maybe more than anger....some hate there too). Those feelings started when I was a child & she ended her life with me realizing that my feelings toward her never changed only got worse. Tough feeling those feelings toward someone that is dead....no way to confront those feelings.

For some reason, my psychologist keeps telling me that if I talk my fears through enough that the feelings will lessen. My problem with that is from my childhood, I never wanted to be boaring by repeating the same thing over & over & over again......which is exactly what he is telling me to do. In my mind, he knows what is bothering me....he should be able to know what is needed to get me through it. I shouldn't have to repeat it over & over again.

I asked my pdoc about hypnotherapy & EMDR to help me get through this PTSD. He told me that most don't take medicare & the cost of it would end up adding moey stress which could undo any good that might help. I only have enough moey for about 4 more months of house payments along with my med costs so adding anymore expenses would really mess me up more than it could help. Unfortunately I agree with him on that......it is tough when you don't have enough money for what could possibly help. Maybe once I get moved, I will be able to come up with enough money to at least try that type of help.

Hopefully once I get moved into the country, I will be in a very calm part of the country & my world. I do need some peace & quiet.....in my mind, that is what I am aiming for.....sitting on my swing on my front porch playing fetch with my eskies & sipping ice tea after a long day of riding & enjoying my horses. In my mind.....it just can't get much better than this.

Debbie