So, what's stopping you from building up those traits?

Okay, if seeing a T is not doable right now you can always keep hanging out here. There might also be services available online. I'm sure there are other options (for example, here in Au you can get 12 sessions free with a T), but I don't know where you're located so can't help you there.

In my experience most people talk about themselves and what they've been doing or they talk about other people and what they're doing. However, I've noticed that people do it more when they're feeling depressed or stressed or haven't spoken to someone properly in awhile (lonely). They become self-absorbed and will focus entirely on their stuff. For example, I have this one acquaintance who will chat about herself for hours without asking what I have been up to because she is either obsessing over something or stressed out. It doesn't bother me and I set boundaries. I'll say that I don't have time right now and will negotiate another time if she really needs someone to talk to (a sounding board).

Exploring is only a waste of time if you view it that way. It's not dumb to dwell and to try to understand what's bothering you. It's quite normal, so try not to be so hard on yourself about that.

No need to apologise