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May 07, 2012, 06:53 AM
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: Alabama, USA
Posts: 1,309
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krisakira,
This struck a chord with me in a very hard way. Your mentality reminds me of how mine was a couple of years ago, and how it still is sometimes.
I'm sure that you are not 'fat and ugly', nor are you a pig.
What I think you need to do, is to start with one small thing that you'd like to change in your life, and work on changing just that one thing. Do things one at a time and you're more likely to achieve those goals.
I'm sorry that you're feeling the way that you are, if you'd ever like a chat, I'm only a PM away. I understand completely where you are coming from and I'd like to help.
Hopelessness is your biggest enemy here, that is what is holding you back. I can tell from your post that you have very low self esteem and probably feel like you have no worth or place in this World, but those are the thoughts of your PTSD and Bipolar. You can control these thoughts and feelings, and there are a select few people who can help you to do so. BUT it starts with you. You need the determination, which I think you have, you just need to grab hold of that.
Think about it this way. Is it you saying that you're fat, or is there 'another part' of you saying it? Is it a sub conscious part, or a conscious part of you? Once you answer that question, then you can work on pushing out those negative thoughts and feelings.
I hope I've been of some help, I'm sorry I cannot say much more right now, but again, I have an open inbox any time.
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