I THINK my T knows my feelings... in fact i am sure she does. This morning when I got her email (after I'd asked, "just send an email with how much we owe you and i'll pay you on payday") and her email gave all the session times and info and that other stuff she said, plus "feel free to ask if you have any questions"-- I think it was the formal-ness of it that got me, because T's emails and talks with her are so INformal most of the time. So I think that is what shook me.
So I wrote her back, "I'm sorry you felt like you had to explain all this...I'm sorry if we gave the impression that we didn't want to pay you somehow?"-- I think I wrote another sentence or 2 but don't remember what.

So that got things stirred up inside about that-- oh the dang money issue!!
I had 2 "best friends" who used to tell me that my husband paid them to come over and hang out with me-they'd joke "this is going on your bill!" or "if i stay late, you owe me more money!"- and joke with him that his payment for their friendship with me was late.
So this is a sore spot I guess.

T told us a couple years ago that we pay her for her brain, not her heart--he knowledge is for sale, her heart is not for sale.
But you know, that was a couple years ago before she knew us so well...
so we worry that her feelings have changed, because people can change SO quickly and get frustrated and all of a sudden not like us anymore (that happened with 1st T, and a few "best friends")

So now that T is in demand more and she's seeing more clients, she needs us to pay her for her time... i mean we ALWAYS pay her, but, with more people wanting to talk to her, i guess her time is more valuable...