Well, I had some wrong ideas that I think I shared with others.

I have a claim in for SSDI, and I know that could take a long time to get, and I might not get it at all (though doctors and lawyers and social agencies seem to think I will.)

I plan to apply for SSI. I thought that if a person had evidence of disability and had a claim pending for SSDI that they kind of prioritized your application for SSI. I had been told some happy horsetalk about how you go into the "dire need" category and you get expedited.

The intake person at the law firm that I contracted with told me some "stuff" that kind of sounded like that. I guess I must have misheard.

Last week I talked to someone at the law firm and he told me I was completely mistaken! He said that it would be a good idea for me to apply for SSI. (Other law firms I had talked to also told me they encouraged clients to apply for both.) He said, however, that it takes just as long to get SSI as it does to get SSDI. He said that the people at SSA look at both applications together. It is not true that the standard for proving disability is lower for SSI than for SSDI. Plus, for SSI you also have to prove that you are broke, and he said SSA spends a good bit of time checking for any possible hidden assets that you might have.

What about the "dire need" thing, I asked??? He said I would have to be HOMELESS to qualify for that.

I am in shock. It is looking like I may end up finding out just how that "dire need" thing really plays out. I got the last of my unemployment insurance checks this week. I won't have money to pay my rent for June. I AM totally broke.

I am thinking of using my last few dollars to rent a storage locker and put my stuff in there and vacate my apartment. Then I WOULD be homeless. Then, I guess I might qualify for some kind of help or expediting of my applications.

I'm living in an extremely cheap apartment. I have been here for almost 5 years and they just don't raise my rent because they feel lucky to have me for a tenant. Once I move out, I would never get a rent as reasonably nice as this is for what I now pay.

I do qualify for Section 8 and am on a list to get my voucher. I am told the wait could take 2 years. Even if I got it right away after becoming homeless, it would cost the government more to subsidize me in whatever I would then find on the rental market than it would cost them to help me stay right where I am. The minute I move out of here, the landlord will charge the next tenant in where I now live a good bit more than I am charged.

Ritalin is numbing my fear.

I could borrow some money from a relative to pay my rent next month. To me that is just kicking the can down the road. Also, if it seems like I have family to help me out, then it will be even harder to get into that "dire need" classification. Social service agencies prioritize giving aid to people who don't have family to borrow from.

I tell myself - "Well, this just means I HAVE TO get work!" If I could earn even just enough for rent and utilities, my earnings could still be below what is considered "Gainful Employment" by the SSA. My claim could still possibly succeed.

I tell myself that "Maybe I am just FAKING that I can't get work." My doctor more or less told me I was hitting my head against a wall by trying to get back to work. So, partly because of that input from him, I did truly give up - after getting sent away as incompetent from a job in February, 2012 (2 hours after I started the job.)

I mainly wanted to warn anyone who might misunderstand things the way I did. Also, I think I gave some wrong advice to other PC members.