what you described about the party, I totally get it. sometimes I go somewhere, "putting myself out there" and wind up feeling alone. and an outsider. and like I'm there but it's almost out of body experience because I don't feel like I'm there. and I cry on the way home.

is there any way you can meet up with your friend and catch up? that may make you feel a little better.

you hit the nail on the head with the "if I'm not at work, I'm just existing" too. I know how you feel and it's funny how I don't know that's what I'm feeling until someone else puts the words together. thank YOU, Sadness, for doing that for me.

you're not alone and even if you feel like you're losing it, you're not. you're very sensitive and that's an asset. it may not feel like it but it's an admirable quality. hang in there. xoxo