BIG hugs to you! I get it!!!! That is also my secret addiction. Hum wonders to self if it is still secret if I post this. Oh well, what the heck. My T is a sexual addiction therapist, but we don't work on this topic. It hurts me because I would like to work through it, but it is like he just thinks it is acting out the same as anything else like drinking too much or self harm.

Anyway, I wanted to share that with you so you will know I do understand some of what you are working through. You are not alone. And I think you are VERY brave for writing it out!