My sister and her husband had to adopt because she lost her ovaries to ovarian cancer at the age of 12. Her birth mother was very young and chose to offer a more stable life to her child. It wasn't about rejection at all. They adopted their daughter who was brought into a large extended family and who was always just another member of the family. We really didn't think of her as anything less than a daughter, a niece, a cousin, a grandchild, etc. She was well-adjusted, delightful, and felt fully loved. She is now married and has a beautiful son. Her mother, by the way, died from cancer just over a year ago. She grieved the loss of the mother who raised her and loved her all those years.

My sister and her husband took in girls who were expecting at one point while she was still well. They would live with them throughout the pregnancy. My sister was with them at the births. Almost all of them chose to offer their child to a family having seen the loving and stable environment that could be available to their children. It wasn't a requirement and there was no pressure, but they were given the space to think things through and make a decision for their child, whatever they decided.

My niece has always been thankful to her birth-mother for loving her enough to offer her a home and family that was so nurturing for her. She has never felt betrayed by her birth-mother at all. Giving a child up for adoption is an agonizing decision for these girls.