Oh, jazzy. You know I've always identified with you. It hurts to read what you wrote; I could have written most of it too. You're not alone. Many of us feel the same way about therapy. It's a catch-22. If it's a friend or relative, it's not therapy; we can't have both in the same person. Yeah, it doesn't seem fair at all. It feels like a knife thrown at my heart sometimes.

I hate to see you give up therapy if you feel so bad about yourself. You're NOT a loser. One suggestion before you give up. Have you tried 90 minute sessions ever, or is that impossible? I usually feel like I don't leave in the middle of something that way.

One more thought. Have you discussed what you posted in therapy as your ISSUE? It's like my pattern; it's what we're working on so our relationship gets talked about a lot. Maybe that's what you need help with, and maybe there IS a way to work on what's underneath your feelings of it not being enough. I always used to think my session was too short until this T and 90 minutes. Or, maybe it depends on the T. I am sorry you're hurting so badly and wish I had a magic answer for you. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.