thanks, tigergirl. that's what T does with me, is talk me thru these scenarios, like my favorite, "are you gonna stop by my apartment on your way home from the airport?" This one started back BEFORE I cleaned up for the city inspector, so we are talking Hoarders here, as in, be careful walking in the door. Anyway, after I got over my extreme embarrassment for even asking, he tells me I sound like my mother! That is, I sounded whiny and demanding, not enticing! Good to know, thanks, T! It took us a few vacations to work this thru! Now when he leaves town I tell him I'll expect him, but I think that ship has sailed.