I am a single mother of five ages 2-17, but I am struggling to care for them properly. I can barely get the house clean and make meals. My life feels like torture. I CRY all the time, especially when I look at or think about my kids. I am not the mother they deserve. I just cannot deal with my li fe anymore. I recently moved, have not friends, am in financial debt, cant buy clothes for my kids, my car is falling a part and my list can go on forever. On top of all these problems I suffer from depression and I know I am in a major depressive episode because everything is dark, empty, and has not purpose. I am seeing a primary care doctor who put me on wellbutrin, cellexa and ativan. I am misusing the ativan because I don't want to feel anything (I took five at one time today) . I just want to give up, I think about call my ex to take over. I am lost and just don't know how to get out.