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I'm afraid my logic may only apply to how I see the world.
You need a “friend with benefits” to phrase it in modern pop culture. Someone who you trust, but will not expect anything beyond being friends with “benefits.”
I admire you ability to not let your sexuality control your actions. But at the same time you need to find what will fulfill your sexual desires, and then do it.
Some of the best sexual relationships I have had started absolutely nonsexual. Friends that just happened to turn sexual, because at some point I wanted to have sex and though, “why not” and the girl agreed. It was a matter of convenience.
A big part of the above paragraph is self esteem. I had the self esteem to think my friend may want to have sex with me. They had the self esteem to consent and expose that part of the life and body to me. The more self esteem you have the less trust is necessary.
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