((((jkristana)))),

The reason victims don't tell on their abusers is exactly what you say here. There is a fear that there will be some kind of bad/worse punishment for telling. Your father beating you was ALWAYS abuse, the coach is also abusing you. You are afraid to speak up because you fear being punished for it. The truth is, when someone is abused they don't go and tell the parents just so the person can be abused even more. If the coach is abusing you, someone needs to be told, otherwise he will continue abusing you and others. What he is doing is wrong as I mentioned before and SOMEONE needs to report him so that he will be stopped. We give abusers power they do not deserve to have, it takes a strong person to stand up to what is wrong you know. What your father and coach are really teaching you is NOT TO MAN UP, BUT TO BE A VICTIM. You are not alone in this kind of struggle either, many people allow themselves to be victimized out of fear of further abuse.

But ask yourself this, what are you going to do if a future boss abuses you, is your lesson so far all about the fact that you have to take it or lose your job? That is what your father and coach are teaching you to do. Often victims are abused over and over, why? It is because they learn how to accept abuse and their manerisms tell abusers that they make good victims.

If you had a son, knowing how you feel now, would you treat him the way you are being treated? What kind of guidance would truely inspire you to do better or try harder and even enjoy playing that sport? Someday you may have a son of your own, you certainly can't effectively raise him to be a healthy strong person by what parenting skills and coaching skills you are learning now. You know that what is really happening is that your spirit is being broken, not respected and nurtured for you to have a true value about yourself. This happens a lot, and the only way that this is going to change is if enough people stand up to it and report it, even if it means hard work.

I am doing that now in my life. I have suffered losses and it was because of a neighbor who is actually a bully and negligent and a liar as well. And on top of that, I am in a system that protects him, I am fighting with his insurance companies in the legal system and they are ABUSING ME BECAUSE THEY ARE STRETCHING THE LAWSUIT OUT FOR YEARS NOW. Many people would not go my journey, say that it is a long battle and is hard, better just to let go and move on. I DON'T LET GO AND MOVE ON, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IS WRONG. And if there were not people like me, willing to stand up and fight back, we would not have all the laws that we have now in an effort to protect victims.

When someone stands up to abusers it is not easy to do so. It takes courage and inner strength, so many people choose to simply go with the flow and be victims.
My own battle has been quite an ordeal for me, and believe me, it has NOT been easy. But the damage my abuser/negligent neighbor caused to me WAS SUBSTANTIAL as well. But, if I didn't stand up to my neighbor and hold him accountable, he would continue to disrespect me, feel he won the right to do so and HE DOES TRESPASS AND DISRESPECT MY RIGHT TO HAVE A FARM AND HAVE MY BUSINESS. He even tore down my no trespassing signs, trespassed onto my land and pulled apart a stone wall I was building BECAUSE "HE" DIDN'T LIKE IT. He has sent people over to see my horses and ponies and when I asked them what they were doing on MY property they replied that they got permission FROM MY NEIGHBOR to do so.

Tell me, if that happened to you, with what you are being taught now about backing down and accepting abuse, WOULD YOU NOT FIGHT BACK LIKE I AM?

These people, father and coach are wanting you to man up, well, are you? Maning up is NOT about allowing people to abuse you!

It isn't easy to take the high road, I have been learning that myself, and I AM being tested. But every day I go out and care for MY DAMAGED HORSES AND PONIES that never deserved to have their crippling injuries. If I fight and WIN this battle then I also send a message out to help protect OTHERS that also have the right to own land, have horses and ponies and provide a safe and healthy environment for these animals they use to work and teach many children HOW TO RIDE AND CARE FOR AND ENJOY HORSES AND PONIES.

Maybe, with what you have experienced about abuse first hand, you should now pay attention in school and become a man amongst men who will fight for the rights of other children like yourself, to be able to grow up in a NON abusive environment.

Open Eyes