Our thoughts are just thoughts but they also drive how we feel. If you do not think you are worth his time, you do not feel you are worth his time (not the other way around; the thought has to come first because we cannot "do" anything without words.

Feeling pissed off about what someone else says (thinking angry, frustrated thoughts) does not help me. I strip what I feel about other people's words right off and concentrate on the thought instead. Am I negative? Do I want to be negative? What is my negative about?

I'm negative to protect myself. It pushes other people away so when I'm scared, I get really negative. When I see a relationship like that I realize I have good defenses, and I start to "play" with them. Can I adjust so I let people a bit nearer and hold it until I get comfortable? Can I let them really near and then push them away? I play with my own defenses and see just how good they are and I find that freeing because it means I am in control! I can frustrate T! Look at how strong I am. Let me see how to adjust this so I feel better about it.