Yeh, reality check time. Too bad you don't have a recording of her former words and a video of her current behavior!!

Parenting is no easy task. Kid-parents don't realize what a full time job it is. Heck, adult-parents don't reallize what a full time job it is. I don't think 90% of people would spawn if they knew how big a job it is to raise a kid all the way to adulthood.

Do you have access to the tv shows, like Nanny 911 and Wife Swap and Trading Partners? I have recently seen some episodes and they really are very interesting scial commentaries on where we are with parenting in the good ol' USA. Family dynamics, parenting issues, values: bringing in an outsider sure blows the stuff out from under the carpet.

Maybe you could watch this kind of show with your sister and Mom and have a place to start talking about parenting and
your sister's role and your nephew's upport froup's role and get all the cards out there on the table in a non acusatory way, using the Nanny's point of view as neutral turf, for instance.

Part of her must be terrifed at being a Mom. Not using birth control is probably another denial thing.