I wonder why we have such shame and embarrassment when we have needs. I'm in the same boat. Since T opened up the option of texting her, I usually send off 5-10 texts per week. It feels very shameful to me and I continue to apologize and she continues to tell me it's o.k.

And you? First one since February? I would love to decrease my level of need to your level.

For me there are a lot of emotions around these needs. I want to always be strong, to always be in control, to always be the sturdy one. But, I guess, in therapy we learn that it's o.k. to have needs and the safest place to practice 'needing' is with our therapists.

Then possibly we can more easily go out into the real world and be able to state our needs to others without shame. I'm beginning to see that kind of transformation in my own life and I believe having the opportunity to express them to T first and being validated has given me the strength and self-confidence to acknowledge that I do indeed deserve to have some of my needs met. And that needs are not shameful.