Tom,

It seems that no group, unfortunately, is immune to sexual abuse. One of the classes I took last semester was "Abuse and Neglect," and although there is no way that they could possibly cover every type of abuse that occurs, and there were some things left out that I thought should have been included, familial abuse of boys was covered. I thought maybe you would like to know that it is being acknowleged - both father-son and mother-son. Mother-son incest has as severe effects on the victim as other varieties of sexual abuse, but there are not a lot of cases reported. This is for several reasons - it doesn't occur as frequently as father-daughter incest, it is easier for mothers to mask this type of activity such as by continuing to bathe their sons after the boys are really too old for that, and it is understandably very hard for sons to report this since the taboo against it is so severe.

Typically there is no father in the home or if there is, he is unavailable and ineffective. It is as if the son steps into the father's role, and the mother uses her son, inappropriately, in place of a partner.

I'm sorry that you have been victimized and discriminated against. There really are not excuses for the evil and hurtful things that people do, but sometimes maybe it helps to look at the reasons why those things happen. If there were not a reason - if parents who abuse their children did not have their own issues - then those things would not occur. By understanding the reasons maybe it will be possible to reduce the occurrence of these kinds of things. People don't like to think about child abuse and would rather deny its existence sometimes than deal with it, because is it such an uncomfortable subject, and the societal taboo against mother-son incest makes that particularly uncomfortable. But it exists anyway, and being able to understand perhaps why people would rather deny it still does not make it okay. I think that now eyes are starting to be opened, and I hope that it leads to better and more effective treatment as well as prevention for all who are affected by this problem.

<font color=orange>There is an easy answer to your problem that is neat, plausible, and wrong.

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