Dear T,

First off- I want to say thanks for showing me a little human part of you today. When you asked if me calling you when I have helped me. I said Yes, and then I asked you why you asked. You said because you felt like the last couple of times I called you didn't help me. I am not sure why that was such a signficant thing for me to hear, but it was. Second- I am sure since you are a good T you know this, but let me reassure you that I am not being stubborn for just for the heck of being stubborn. I have held on to this beliefs, these ways of distorted thinking for a very long time. They are my way to cope, and I just can't drop them or even in the last 6 months that I have been seeing you. And honestly, I am not sure that I really know how. I say that I want to change the way I think, but when it comes down to it, it doesn't ever work. I don't feel safe. How in the heck am I supposed to get through that? Finally, I know that my need for control is not rational.. I know that I need to give it up. It is ironic, the one thing that I think is keeping me safe and sane is the one thing that is giving me anxiety and driving me "crazy" I am a walking paradox.. it is soooo annoying. Please don't give up on me!

Healed