View Single Post
 
Old May 10, 2012, 09:18 AM
ListenMoreTalkLess ListenMoreTalkLess is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2012
Posts: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by tigergirl View Post
but when it involves ruptures or problems with themselves that seems much harder
Two thoughts: 1) that therapists believe that clients terminating therapy with a "happy ending" is a measure of their success and 2) issues that involve clients' perceptions of them might be much harder than anything else.

On the first issue, I think that therapists want, both for themselves and their clients, for therapy to be terminated after goals have been achieved, and/or symptoms have abated, and/or clients are in a good place and ready to carry on with their lives having grown stronger since therapy. When therapy is terminated because of a rupture, no matter whose "fault" it is, that doesn't leave either the client or the therapist in a good place wrt to the work itself. So I would think therapists would be motivated to work on a rupture so that termination can occur "naturally" (not that ruptures aren't "natural') and the client's happy ending can be found.

On the second issue, I sometimes wonder how therapists can "fix" a rupture that boils down to the client believing that "you don't care about me" because therapist has done, or not done, certain things. Or because therapists cannot really care for any client, by definition. I don't know how you can convince someone that you really care about them-- either they feel cared for or they don't. You can point out until the cows come home that real caring is not based on 1 or 2 behaviors, but you can't really argue someone out of feeling uncared for. And you can't just do things for the sole purpose of having people feel cared for, as that's not genuine and it would feel coercive I would think.

Actually, I was remembering that one thing my T does makes me feel really cared for. One time months ago I asked her to shut the curtains on one side of the office because I kept seeing people walk by and it distracted me. Now I notice the curtains on that side are always shut. Maybe she's kept them closed since then, but I feel like she has remembered every week and closes them before I come in.