So after a few months of me avoiding a big topic, T tried a new approach to it. She pulled out two bean balls, once she saw my face of she put one back. The idea was that we were to toss the ball while I said whatever I could on the topic. I was able to give her the date and some things that were happening around the time. I was able to give her a sentence really close to what happened. I kept checking the time because I wanted to run away. Her idea was working, I was somehow talking - normally I just wall up and shut down. I guess I was so focused on catching the ball it helped me not be so focused on my head.

Last night after T was hard. I almost puked walking to my car and then got stuck with the hiccups for a while. I had a hard time getting to sleep and when I did it was on and off. Today I feel really fidgety, dizzy and detached from myself. I skipped yoga because I slept in. I can't seem to slow down but I also can't seem to move if that makes any sense.

I want to tell T that the ball toss idea worked, that it was good but I'm also so scared to. I mean, I'm a mess already and I didn't even really get into any details.

Anyone else try this tossing idea? Anyone have any idea of a way to tell T that it was a good idea?