Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreamy01
I'm really sorry. My T sometimes asks me to 'call the adult in' to deal with the child and I just can't. It is so painful. I don't want to meet my needs, I want T to do it. I totally understand you there. All I can say is keep talking and expressing those feelings and needs; T may not change her mind, but talking can release some energy trapped around those feelings and eventually help you move on. I know it's not the same but it does help.
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My T did mention that the adult in us shows up and mine was showing up by protecting me. We did a split of how I thought about one person that was comforting to me and then I was asked to think about the 5 year old me. I just kept getting frustrated as I kept feeling like I was running into one brick wall after another and making no progress. T said if I want I can make a list of all the traumas in chronological order (some I talked about today). She would like to start to focus on them to work through them with EMDR. She said however if it feels too intense than I should not push through it as it will create a new trauma for me and it will make me even more defensive.
(((rainbow))) I don't know if she does IFS? but it sounds like she might based on some of things I've seen you post about your T.
My T also said she isn't much of a hugger
- but neither am I yet at the same time I have an insatiable craving to be hugged.
Thank you all so much for listening. I feel so much less alone while I wallow in this sadness.
Feeling exhausted and want to disappear.