Let me start by saying that I adore my T. She's been so helpful and so awesome, and I have a very good relationship with her. She challenges me, but is always willing to meet me where I am and work with me to find ways to meet those challenges. I think she's an amazing T.

That said...today was an unsettling session. In part of a conversation we were having, my T commented that I am one of the most anxious people she's ever met. That really upset me. We talked about my reaction to her comment, of course, but I'm still kinda reeling from it. I know I'm exceedingly anxious, but I was honestly hoping I wasn't that bad. She went on to say that she's impressed that I'm incredibly functional in spite of the anxiety. I've honestly never felt that being non-functional was a choice.

Then, we were talking about how my others perceive me as calming and relaxing and my t said that she could understand that because my anxiety is so internalized that I'm actually relaxing for other to be around. She said I project calmness, and that there's something "solid" about me and I have a strong character. I told her that I simply don't see that...I don't think I'm a strong person at all. My T said that she found it really sad that I couldn't see that in myself.

So...my T kinda shook my world up a little bit - both with the comment that I'm the one of the most anxious people she's ever met and that she sees me as a strong person. There was a lot more we talked about, and it all just left me feeling all conflicted and...I dunno...just reeling with everything we talked about.

Part of me wants to call my T or email her and just ask her to help me steady my world again. Part of me thinks I need to sit with this and let my world be all shaken up for a bit...it'll steady out eventually, right?