Hey Lola...if you read this...T likes our dress!

The dread went away when I got in T's office. I think because I really was happy to see her (the "person", not the "T"). She looked good (her breast reconstruction looked very natural). She asked how I'd been and I told her good overall; that work was very busy lately. She wanted to know how I'd reacted to talking about my grandfather. I said, "I am going to tell you the truth. When I walked out of your office 2.5 weeks ago, I really didn't give therapy a second thought. I decided to take a break. I can see the progress I've made over the last year and especially in the last couple of months. To use video game terminology, I feel like I 'leveled up'. I actually contemplated never coming back; however, I did because I know it can be even better than it is right now. I don't feel that therapy is the 'lifeline' it used to be; that I can be okay without it."

She said that I deserved a break. That I had made great progress and have already become a different person. She told me it takes time to get used to those changes, so I was getting adjusted to them. She remarked that it sounded like I finally trust the process because I am willing to start again, but that it didn't have to be today. So we had a rollicking session in which I learned a lot about T.

I gave her some background on H's issue before his appointment with me next Tuesday. She is rather angry at the county because they don't care about morale. I think the session with H will be rather interesting.

I told her I had two bad days while she was gone. The first one was the day of her surgery. I told her I thought I wasn't worried about her, but I realized I actually was. I could tell that touched her because her eyes softened and she said softly, "Awwww...thank you, Chopin." I said that had to be it because I felt better the next day when I heard she was fine. Which led me to the next bad day, Thursday. All the commotion about scheduling the appointment for H. I told her that I talked to P (PM receptionist) last Tuesday and Wednesday and then K (AM receptionist) Thursday and the seeming lack of communication made me want to throw my phone through the wall.

She said, "A couple of things. All hell broke loose during my time out." The following happened at the practice while T was out:
1. P was out sick a few days.
2. TP (the T who owns the practice) went out with double pneumonia.
3. K (TP's wife) was stressing because their son is getting married this weekend and their doctor put the entire family on antibiotics because he thought they'd catch it and ruin the wedding.
4. G (a T) lost her father.
5. R (a T) had to deal with sick kids.
So apparently the remaining T (J) remained unscathed.

T said, "Well, I told P and K that they were making too big a deal about it. They deal with payment, insurance, and such and hearing that I was seeing H and you, they think it has to be billed differently; marriage counseling. I told them I was just doing you and H a favor by seeing him a couple of times with you for his problem. They don't really like that."

She went on to say, "Did I tell you that they double booked me twice the week before I went out?" I said, "You told me they double booked you three times the week before." She said, "Yes. They did." I said, "I'm glad you're back."

She said, "I don't mind sticking it to the insurance company. I don't know when it takes affect and I don't know if it's across the board or not, but *insurance company (MY insurance company )* is reducing the allowable amount (the amount they will pay her no matter how much she charges) from $72 to $60. My rent is not going to change. My taxes aren't going to change. My liability insurance isn't going to change. Dealing with insurance companies is a headache because you can call 3 different people and ask them the same question on the same day and you'll get 3 different answers." I told her I relate because I deal with Medicaid funding where I work. I know of providers that haven't been paid; which means clients lose services and employees don't get paid. So my T is basically receiving a $12 an hour pay cut for patients with my insurance. At that rate, she'll probably net less money than me in a year's time. I feel bad for her. I know she has huge hospital bills.

I asked how her recovery went. She said the recovery went great. She never had to take pain meds. She said the only issue was the surgery itself. "A friend of mine took me to have the surgery. I was prepped and the anesthesiologist walked in. My friend told him, 'I'm just here for the singing' (because apparently my T sings when she's anesthetized...). The anesthesiologist told her, 'When I'm done with her, she won't be singing. I'm heavy handed.' I said, 'You'd better look at my chart! It's flagged because I'm high risk because of my heart and breathing problems! That was the last thing I remember." I said, "You mean the f**ker was giving you the anesthesia while you were talking?" She said, "Sure did. Took them 2.5 hours to wake me up after surgery. Once I woke up, I couldn't breathe. They kept telling me I was overreacting because my oxygen levels were normal. All I knew is that I couldn't breathe. They decided to keep me in the hospital overnight which was them overreacting."

I asked, "So do you like 'em?" She said, "I probably shouldn't tell a client this, but I'm going to tell you anyway. The doctor made the hugest deal about the fact that I no longer had to wear a bra. I said I didn't know that I would be comfortable not wearing one. He told me that was the part that women tended to get excited about."

So the rest of the time we discussed boobs!

As I was leaving, she reached out to hug me and as she did, she told me, "I just want you to know that you look really good." I said, "So do you." She said, "I feel good." I said, "I do too." She said, "I can tell."



You never know. I might do some homework before next session.