I have read the book Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie. I found it really helpful. There is also a sequel called Beyond Codependency. I really struggle with this issue too but I am getting better at thinking that every thing I say or do has an impact on everything around me. Accepting myself is always a struggle, but it helps to remember that we are ok just as we are. I think Perna had some really great suggestions too. My husband is away a lot due to work but I always try to keep in touch and try to get him to talk about what he is doing so I feel connected. I crave the physical presence, touch, and affection when he is away, but keep telling myself it is his job and he has to do his thing just like I do
Hugs -- I am rooting for you Love, Larissa