I'm sorry I can't be of much help right now. All I can say is you are not alone, I know the feeling. I have issues with the whole crying thing. If I ever happen to cry in public (which is very, very out of character for me) I feel embarrassed afterwards. If somebody makes me wanna cry I'll hold it in 'till I'm alone because I don't want them to think I'm weak or vulnerable and I don't directly tell/show them they've hurt me.