I am not formally diagnosed with an ASD, but the possibility is nearly overwhelming. The reason for not bothering with a diagnosis is, so many of my symptoms can also be explained elsewhere that I am already receiving treatment for the problematic parts. My treatment would not change at all with a formal diagnosis, so why put yet another label on myself? I can relate enough to what people on the spectrum go through that I am quite positive I am one also.

People on the spectrum (and I too, whether I actually am or not) have a hard time with social conventions, and need to have things explained to them that neurotypicals would think are intuitive. I don't know how many times I've heard, "Well, good common sense ought to tell you...." when I had to have something mapped out for me. No, it isn't just common sense. Yes, it does have to be explained, at least to me, because I don't have that mechanism in my brain that lets me pick up on it automatically. That doesn't mean I'm stupid, or retarded. As I've been called many times.

On a site specifically for autism/Asperger's, I have seen an ongoing thread set up for that specific purpose. It is the place to explain those things that are intuitive for others but not for us. For example, when I was in school, any time the teacher asked the class a question, I was always the first one to blurt out the answer before anyone else could. I was afraid of being considered stupid, wanted to prove I wasn't, and did this to demonstrate that hey, if I know the answer, then I'm not stupid, am I? I never realized how bloody annoying it was. Yes, the classmates gave me dirty looks. Yes, even the teacher sometimes told me to knock it off. But I didn't make the connection. I thought the others didn't like me simply because I was not beautiful and came from a poor family. It wasn't until I was in my thirties that I figured out, the teacher already knows that I probably have the right answer, and needs to hear from the other students, thank you very much. The more I kept blurting out the right answer, the less effective the teacher could be, since the others didn't get a turn. I was hindering the teacher's ability to evaluate the rest of the class. I wish someone had told me that at the time. But the thing is, most people wouldn't have needed to be told, so it never occurred to anybody that I didn't know.

I said all that to say this: Maybe there is some little habit or trait you're not aware of. I have benefited from etiquette-for-everyday-life classes and discussions such as this one, to help myself become less offensive to others. There are people out there who will taunt us with the "book smart, but no common sense" thing I've heard all my life, but there are many more who understand and will explain these things clearly.