Thank you RomanSunburn I really appreciate everything you said. I ve thought about going to get help at uni. But I never actually thought it would help me. I want thing to change. Its been 2 years now and i'm stuck in the same place feeling exactly how I did the day I got kicked out. I'm running out of distractions. I know suicide is a weak solution..I lost a friend because of it. I just don't know where to start to fix the mess I made of my life.