Getting a five figure job is what I was thinking of actually ....

I used to have a T whom I would see from time to time. I don't want to see my T. It reminds me of feeling like a failure not being able to walk out of there all "cured" of my depression and ****. I felt I was at a point where he couldnt help me anymore too.

I'm always feeling so numb and cold. It'd draining people who are close to me in real life. I'm always thinking of just getting rid of the source of the problem (me) and it would be a workable solution. But I constantly think of how I could fyck up my suicide and how that in the end could be a bigger burden.

Anyway, there are some people in life that can't be helped. Maybe I'm one of them. If I go, I go. If I live on, finish school, scrape by life with dimes and crumbs till death then.... well... that life path seems pointless. And worthless to go through.

But anyway, thanks to all for posting.