We began 2012 with a bipolar / ptsd family members suicide. We were begged to "take care of ourselves and each other because they (DH mom & dad) can handle another funeral". I have always felt I will take my own life or someone else's either on accident or on purpose due to bipolar. I am very rarely suicidal but the things that "sound fun" when manic are generally lethal to myself and/or others. DH completely feels I'd never knowingly commit suicide. I just have a death wish when it comes to mania. During deep depression I tend to go into an almost catatonic and distant state. In a mixed state I can see me committing suicide.

On the other hand DH is very suicidal as he gets more and more depressed. He does worry that he will commit suicide because he would rather die than breath. He also has the lethal things "sound fun" mode in his hypo-mania.

We do have our funerals arrangement's and will in place. That more has to do with being a parent then bi-polar. I know the pain of finding out your child tried to end their own life. I think that kinda sits with us when we contemplate suicide. I do fear death of myself and family members from bipolar but not just suicide.