I feel good when I don't eat. I feel small. The when I eat I get this gross feel. I want it out of me. I only act on it sometimes. If it makes me feel better not to eat ten why not, right? I feel like being skinny is what makes me pretty. I would be so horrible upset if I gained any weight. I want to be perfect!!!! I am going for a goal I can never achieve and that sucks. I want to be okay. I hate this. I am so tired.