Kudos to you for being so open! I think it's perfectly natural to wallow in self-pitty a bit. It's not easy to try to improve yourself, it's easier to remain unhappy. And yes, I have times where I'm like this as well.

But in the long run, it's better for you to fight the good fight and try to improve yourself. To not stay down too long, to not let anyone or anything get the best of you. Prove everybody wrong, be better, get better.