Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Venomous
The weird thing is that when I was bitter, mad, frustrated, rude, and wanted nothing to do with women and relationships is when women were most attracted to me and I was doing the rejecting, but now that I want to connect with someone and have a relationship, I am universally and unanimously rejected…@#$%&!!!!
I've been told I will find the 'right woman' whom is capable of loving me or even liking me after a few days of knowing each other, but my mind runs off statistics, numbers, graphs, and formulas, not inexplainable, spontaneous, miraculous experiences in the future that lack a solid basis in reality, while simultaneously contradicting those same individuals' earlier statements about being unable to predict the future. I believe I am unlovable as much as I believe that I am a failure. Oh, but I am told I need to be confident and if I believe I will fail than I will, but all that is nonsense to me, because I fail no matter what I do.
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Mr. V. I'm sorry you are finding so much contradictory but relationships are messy not neat and able to "run off statistics, numbers, graphs, and formulas". People are not computers. A lot of relationships is being open to the emotional and learning not to see things as completely one way or another.
The all or nothing is like when we are thinking of buying a new car and want a red sports car and suddenly there seem to be a zillion red sports cars on the road. But all those red sports cars we see are not
our red sports car and we have been distracted, seeing all of them. Running around trying to catch any old (young :-) woman you see, isn't what it is about; it is about one-on-one with a particular woman and concentrating on her, only.
You comment on all the women who wanted you when you were a "bad boy" and now you comment on none of the women wanting you but how about "Susie", tell me about an individual, what she likes, is interested in, does for a living, kind of pet(s) she has, etc. Where did you meet "her", what were you doing, what was she doing, why did you approach her, in particular? What did you talk about, what did she talk about.
Women aren't "things" that can just be picked up on the fly, either. To get in a true relationship with someone, you have to first be around them a goodly bit of time and get to know them. You sit next to them in a class for a semester or you work with them. You notice similarities or things you like and point them out so you can get a conversation started (after they have noted your presence; you can't just walk up to a person you haven't been introduced to and not scare them a bit, making personal statements). "I see you like Yoo-Hoos, I do too!" or just, "I wish they'd put Yoo-Hoos in the vending machine, they're my favorite drink". One can't really "fail" at that?