Do you ask them for what you need or only hint at it? If you can get as specific as you can, it is easier to solve problems one's self.

"I wish I could talk to John" becomes a plan to get together with John to talk; you call and find out when it would be convenient to meet him at Starbucks and you take 10 minutes to run by what it is you want to talk to him about. If you just want to hang out, you call John and two or three other friends and see if you all can get together at the food court at the Mall, 1:00 on Sunday.

Whether or not you think you intuit and are "there" when they need you, it works much better to figure ourselves out, what we want and work on getting it before we "need" it. Think of it as if you were going to the hospital for an operation and would need help for 3-4 days after you got home; wouldn't you make arrangements before you went?

Lots of times other people are not available when we would like to see them. Calling it a "need" though escalates our yearning for someone? Have backup plans, books to read, projects to work on, chores you have been meaning to do (often when I'm lonely, just going to the store and chatting with the checkout clerk or the cleaner, library, etc. helps me feel more connected and less lonely).

If you only have flaky friends, who can rarely be counted on when you ask them to help you (move house, pick you up/drop you off somewhere when your car is in the shop, run to the drugstore and pick up a prescription when you're sick, bring you chicken soup when you're sick, that kind of thing) I don't know why you consider them "friends" instead of acquaintances. I have friends I have not seen or talked to in person (or even phone/texting/email) for years but if I called them right now with a true need, I know I could count on them to help.

No one has friends that don't require being asked for whatever is wanted; socializing, help, hanging out with. That's why we have to work to become our own friend! It's not automatic just because we are ourselves When we are down on ourselves, that's especially when we put on our "friend" hat and respond as we would if someone else had asked us for companionship and encouragement. I've written you a friendly post here but I cannot be as good a friend, even if I were with you in person right this minute, as you can be to yourself; it's just not possible for me to get to know you as well as you can get to know yourself.