Been dealing with this for over ten years now. My relationships with people are suffering, my quality of life is suffering. I can barely hold on to a job. Every day I'm too exhausted to even hold a conversation. I keep calling in sick to work. I take Xanax at night and it either helps me sleep for two hours or makes me feel like total crap the next day. I just don't know what to f%(*#ing to anymore. Is anyone else going through this? I feel like I'm all alone. People withdraw from me because they don't understand or don't want to deal with it. No one understands. I can't just exercise or concentrate on other things. I can't even think straight. My life is slipping away and at the same time it's on hold. I have nothing to say to my friends because my memory and cognition is so bad. And all there is to my life lately is doctors, chasing sleep, crying, avoiding people.

PLEASE, no responses about God.. please don't tell me it'll be okay if I pray.. it won't. It doesn't work that way. I just need to vent and I need to know I'm not the only one who feels like they're suffocating.