Hey. I read the whole thing I didn't "Jump to saying NO". After reading your situation I will tell you that your children want you there, and so does your wife i'm sure. When I was in my major depressive episode last year I knew that on a very material level that Yes my family would be better off with a healthy me than a sick me. Unfortunately that isn't our choice with Depression. I have no experience with chronic pain so I wont give you any medical advice, but as far as your sister's statements I can relate a bit.

During my darkest time my sister who I have a great relationship of love and caring with told me that the difference between my really bad times, my pretty bad times, and my not so bad times, was me "letting" it get to me. Her point was that if I had some will power my depression would be easily overcome. My sister and yours made these kinds of statements for 1 of 2 possible reasons. The most likely is they are beyond uninformed or have no idea of the difficulty that depression and chronic pain brings. Ignorance is forgivable if you really feel they deserve it. My sister did. The other reason is far less likely, but again it has nothing to do with you. They could be that 1% of the population that are just plain and simple assholes. If you look at your whole life with your sister and come to that conclusion, delete her from your phone and if she comes looking for you tell her you are ONLY accepting words of encouragement and help at the moment and if she has none of those she can turn around and go away. So either way, you have no reason to put any blame on yourself for what your sister said. I know it hurts when family doesn't understand our pains, but remember that they are still not inside your body and cant feel what you do.

In conclusion, your family is not better off without you. Common sense and the looks in your children's eyes when you make them laugh or happy is enough to prove that. And your sister's statements have nothing to do with you and are all about her. Hope you can get some help with the Depression friend, it only makes physical pain worse.