Quote:
Originally Posted by Anika
What is it that you want to change, that's what I would be asking myself, because you mentioned "I am not quick to judge people because I feel that people can change." and "I believe that people can change", and "makes it really really hard for them to change.."
So what would you want to change about her? Are you uncomfortable with the fact that she's a call girl? Is this something she would want to change? And... why not find someone you do not want to change?
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No, but part of the consideration has to do with the fact that she's made it clear she's trying to get out of it and she doesn't want it to be a long term thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dark_heart_x
It's good she's not on drugs but here is something you need to understand: don't expect anyone to change. You have to love them for who they are right now. If they change, they change, but they aren't going to change the way you want them to.
I agree with Anika. Why not look for someone who doesn't need to change for you?
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I understand that, but I still disagree. I've changed, people have helped me to change. It took a while and I'm still working on it. If they would've said the same thing about me and all of my issues then I would still be where I was. I don't expect drastic improvments.
It's also about helping her to change for herself.
Look for someone who doesn't need to change for me? Because I don't want to.
Doesn't need to change? That's not realistic, everyone changes at least a little as part of a relationship. My mother stuck by my father and he's drastically changed. May not be the average example, and he still has things he needs to work on. But he's come a long way. I know within me that it's possible for people to change.
I'm open to hear what else you have to say, and I don't intend to be rude. But I don't think this thread is going ot go anywhere. There are far too many details to be understood and the image of what she does paints a terrible picture to begin with.
I feel like I shouldn't have mentioned that part because it's colored opinions way too much.