if only i could.
i dont dare completely though.
half the stuff i punch into are not inanimate.

maybe i can say...
i punch myself in the head a lot. though.
..i think im hoping for brain damage.
i jump off stuff...

i took a lot of meds 2 days ago and climbed on the roof of my house you guys.
am i fooling myself or can i trust myself.
i dont care to think
because if i think i stop
if i stop i dont act
if i dont act i dont get hurt
if i dont hurt i dont get a chance to die
if i dont get a chance to die...
...im still here
...and i dont want to be.
i want to be in heaven already.
im just ready to get out of here you guys
may god have mercy on my soul.
...cant fight anymore.