After I got home from yesterday's session, I decided I'm done with therapy. It wasn't a particularly hard session (though it wasn't easy either). I just feel the sadness welling up about leaving T next month for good when I move across the country. I even sat on the idea of quitting before I actually called to let her know my thoughts. Today I called my psychiatrist and told her I want to come off my meds too. I started them about a year ago and I'm still depressed. And to add to it, not I have insomnia caused by the meds. I'm on the fourth and fifth anti-depressants I've tried. All of them have worked for a bit until they didn't work anymore and all have caused me insomnia, leading to trying more meds than I can count to try to help me sleep. So I'm still depressed and now I can't sleep properly, plus there's the cost of the meds & appts.
Also, I started therapy 5 years ago (though with this T for about a year and a half), and I'm still dealing with the exact same ****. I don't have my ED anymore, but I'm still dealing w/ anxiety, isolating by hiding in bed, pushing people away, mother issues, perfectionism, feeling like I'm not good enough and like I'm a bad person, etc. So what's the point if I'm pretty much in the same place?
I was planning to wrap up with my DBT group soon anyway (I've gone thru it twice), so I'll probably go ahead and do that too as she shares the same office with my T.
I know it's probably best to keep working through my issues, but I'm just so tired of it all. Plenty of people do fine w/o therapy, so I can do it again too.
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