I have not been diagnosed with DID, so I'm sorry if I am posting in the wrong place. The reason I decided to post here is because I definitely have a little girl inside of me. I'm not saying I think I have DID or even am that worried about the diagnosis, but I thought maybe someone here might understand?

I am very stuck in my relationships...or lack there of them. I'm 28 years old and I have never been in a romantic relationship. I am very lonely and I guess I would like a relationship, but I am petrified of becoming that close with a person in that way. I have one fairly close friend, but still I keep my distance in some ways. I'm not quite sure what the problem is. I'm not sure if it is fear of intimacy, I think that is a part of it but there also is something else. The other part is I feel like I'm not even really that interested in romantic relationships. I feel like I'm not old enough or something...like not emotionally old enough. I can fake being an adult at work because in that context I know the things to say, but emotionally I do not feel like an adult. I feel like I could never get through the whole dating thing because I do not have what a potential romantic partner would want. I feel empty like there is nothing inside me that I could give another person.

All of this relates to the fact that what I really want more than a romantic partner, a large portion of the time, is a mommy. Someone to love me unconditionally and ask pretty much nothing in return. I feel like I am a little girl and like what I really want is to be taken care of... At times I've felt attracted to men my own age, but really I am pretty scared of them. I am drawn to women who are older than me that I see as motherly figures. Basically, right now I feel like my most fulfilling relationship is with my T, because she is the closest thing to the type of mommy figure that I crave. But I only get to see her once a week...

Am I a freak? I feel like a freak

Sorry this was so long, I couldn't explain it in less words