If you don't mind me asking, how old is your daughter now? Is she married? Does she have her own family? If she chooses to go the family route, I think she will eventually understand much better. You are taking steps to heal the relationship but that will take time; it will not be fully healed by one conversation. It requires more time. They say time is a healer . . . and, it will clearly take time. Please do not blame yourself for your illnesses. You have been very forgiving with your husband. And, you seem to be taking some of the responsibility for his actions or, at least, be the fall guy for them. However, only he is responsible for his actions. The family game where you are blamed for everything has to stop. You did the best you could. Let the rest go.