Do not cut yourself to death. I've got the oppisite problem. Nobody knows that im suicidal. And it simply drives me crazy. But reading wat u wrote maybe its better no one knows. I cant imagineliving with someoneonme all the time since i HATE people. It must be rilly tough. I never was in a mental hosp. Though i was warned about it once. Do u have a T, that u like and work with?