Suicide doesn't solve anything......also, another suggestion....even though I'm sure you really want to have a relationship.....I found that focusing strictly on what you are majoring in while at the uni & leaving the social stuff (getting involved seriously) is better left until after you get the degree.

I made life difficult on myself. Not only did I end up getting married while I was working on my accounting information systems/computer science BS degree, I ended up having our daughter 10 months before I graduated & got my career started which I had several job offers before I even graduated.

If I were to do it over again, I would have never gotten married, I would have focused on nothing but my education & my career.....then the right person would have come along after I was more settled with my life who would have fit in much better to my goals & my life. Even though my husband & I ended up in the same career of firmware engineering, we had too many differences that I only tolerated because I was hiding in my career. When I ended up loosing my career 15 years later....I found out just how bad my marriage was & how much I was using my career to hide from the badness. That was when I became suicidal.

Focus on what's important to you. If your engineering is important & getting a career set up for yourself so that you can take care of yourself & not be dependent on a guy....you will be much better off in the long run. I have realized that when we are self sufficient, it's a lot easier to find a guy that fits our life & then the relationship can grow much easier & smoothly.

You said you were having issues with your BF in the first place which is why you broke up. Hold onto your values & your strength of conviction that you are doing the right thing & don't be pressured to go back to him. The right relationship will come along with the time is right....it's better to have NO relationship than to have a bad one.

The help through the universities is wonderful when one gets the DX from being treated. I used the disabilities resource center when I went back to the jr college to take some interior design courses....thought I might get a certificate in it.....but my mother's dying of cancer messed that situation up along with the trauma I went through because of my mother. The point is, that they gave me extra time to takes the tests, gave me permission to ask permission to record lectures....all because of my anxiety & depression. It gave me just enough benefits that I could excell in my classes & was able to get very involved in the department & the on campus club as treasurer & leison with the professional groups that we interfaced with. When we keep our focus on one thing at a time & don't feel pressured that you have to have a BF or something's wrong with you......it makes life much easier....lessens the anxiety & even the depression & helps with our focus.

Don't throw your education away for a BF who you have issues with in the first place. When you get yourself established, everything else will fall into place.