((((((((((((rayna))))))))))))))),

I am glad that you have been able to understand your illness. Like I said, having good Dr's who are willing to work with you & let you know what you are dealing with is a major part of the battle. Then as Linda said.....which I have found out to be the most improtant part of any illness is that having the Dx...can help to set the mind at ease instead of someone telling you it's all in your head.

I too have experienced the "all in your head" problems with my migraines. I had a pain specialist who wasn't willing to provide me with enough medication to control the pain. When I would go to the ER for a pain shot....I was considered to me "drug seaking". When I experimented & found out how much of my medication it took to control my pain (double what I was being given), he refused to treat me anymore & sent me off to find some other pain specialist. The next pain specialist I went to told me that I needed to go off all my meds & the migraines would go away. I asked her what she would do if that didn't work & all she would tell me was that it would work. I couldn't trust a Dr that wasn't willing to consider all the possibilities & luckily she sent me to the pain specialist I have now. I had an MRI done of my head & othing showed up that would indicate anything except migraines. He found what he called white spots (leisions). He explained that they were caused by having severe migraines & at that point, he was totally willing to prescribe the amount of narcotics that worked for me. He told me that if at some point, the medication stopped working (I became tolerant to it), he would have to try something else. It has been almost 4 years & the med is still working. All the other pain specialists & neurologists tried everything in the book to control my migraines including neck fusion due to a horse accident I had when I was in college 30 years before the migraines started. Until I started going to the pain specialist I have now.....everyone was continually telling me that is was all in my head.....that was right...migraines are in my head, but it wasn't imagined.

I found it such a relief to find a Dr that was willing to listen to me & work with me & end up helping to so that I could actually get my functioning life back. He wasn't afraid to go up against the DEA because he told me that he documents every case & they can't fight his treatment when the patients fuctioning in life is completely improved.

Besides my migraines, I also had a horrible experience when I ended up not being able to feed myself, or even walk by myself. I couldn't even get myself into the bathroom. My husband would help me into the bathroom before he left for work & then as soon as he got home....I was so desparate that was the first thing he had to do was walk me into the bathroom. I couldn't even shower myself. I couldn't control my hands to get food into my mouth. It was something that just suddenly hit & it took me a few days until I decided it was really a problem & went to the ER. They reviewed the meds I was on & decided that the compozine for my nausea from my migraines might be the culprate. It was know to cause symptoms similar to Parkinsons. I quit taking that immediately. I figured I could give it a couple of weeks & if it was a reaction, it would go away by then. No luck. I continued to have the problem. I was really scared at that point......as if I didn't have enough other problems.....I didn't need to come up with a strange desiease that no one else in my family had ever had. I was so afraid of what was happening to me....I went back to the neurologist I had originally seen for my migraines. He did several tests, but also reviewed the meds I was still on. He realized that Thorozine could also cause the same symptoms that compozine caused.....& he took me off of that med. Several more weeks passed & no improvement......my fear kept building by then.....but I ended up being very lucky & the symptoms ended up going away as quickly as they came. From that experience, it has allowed me to have a much better understanding about the symptoms that people actually have with illnesses & how hard it is to be wondering if it really is the desease that your dealing with. I ended up being on the lucky end of that experience, but I sure did learn alot from it. Realizing how hard it is for people who really are disabled by deseases like that & how important it is to have good Dr's to work with you....either for recoginizing side effects or actually recognizing the symptoms of the desease.

I am glad that you have a good Dr to work with you & to be on top of your treatment.....keeping you informed. It is so great that are so positive about your treatment & how you are feeling about everything you are going through. When I read that quote from Thoreau, it really hit home for me.....realizing that I am the only one that can control how I see my own life & what I can make of it. There is also the saying....."if you are given lemons, you can choose to make lemonade out of them" (or something to that effect).

I am so glad that you are looking at your life in a very positive light....you are very correct in realizing that given your past choices, you could have had a much worse outcome that what you are going through. Any illness takes alot of getting into the right mental thought process to deal with it, but being positive is the best way to start.

Love & hugz,
Debbie