Seshat, I feel like my family not only doesn't understand what I'm going through but doesn't want to try to understand. That and they expect far more from me than I could possibly give. Like, "Hey, stop blaming your depression on your dysfunctional childhood." Well, yeah, I don't want to do that and I do my best NOT to, but I DO need you to understand what my needs are and why I may respond the way I do. I mean, we only live what we learn. I had to grow up pretty quickly and now, when really what I desperately want is for someone to just listen to me and be loving and nurturing (all things I'm not really accustomed to), I'm kind of made to feel like I'm weak and needy by my family. This is why I finally chose to cut ties with them; I was tired of working hard to have a relationship with them when it mainly led to disappointment and me feeling sad and wounded. I am also pretty mad at them for STILL not understanding, after decades, the basic things I need emotionally. Pretty childish and unreasonable, I know, but that's how I feel. Can't expect to keep your beautiful plant if you don't water it, right?